Alright so first I want to say SacAnime was so much fun, it was so far one of the best cons I've attended and I got to see all my friends again and made so many more. I took so many pictures, mostly of gatherings but still thats a lot of pictures. My friends and I had so much fun at the con, except maybe for the part where my friends thought it was good idea to encourage underage drinking leaving me having to be the only sober person to take care of the said underage drunk person. She was also the very first drunk person I have ever been around my whole life. But none the less we got it handled and the kid got better by the midday of the second day of the con.
The Vocaloid gathering was so much fun, I loved seeing my friends again because they're so nice. I especially loved seeing my friend cosplay as Kaito V3, and I enjoyed seeing the append cosplayers, I should've asked them how they did their light up belts since I plan on remaking Yukari's belt and hair clip to light up. And I enjoy seeing the other V3 cosplayers that fall into; Mayu, SeeU, Yukari and a few others who were walking around that weren't able to make the gathering. But the best part about the gathering had to be the proposal, we were all joking around and such with the topic. So when a man asked if he could take a picture with his girlfriend we all got our cameras ready. And just as our cameras pointed he got on one knee pulled out a ring and asked her for her hand, a real life proposal and we all got so excited and cheered. The girl had no idea and he had planned that way obviously, they had said they talked about it but she had no idea he would propose then and there. It was so cute and adorable and it took us over 10 minutes to calm down from it. We congratulated them of course, and I wish them both all the happiness in the world.
My friends went with me to the RWBY gathering and they went into gathering culture shock, since they normally attend the Hetalia and Homestuck gatherings. Which are known for being loud and a little disorganized. But as they stood and watched us get started they noticed we were all; Quiet, calm, organized, could hear our leader and still had a lot of fun. They had noticed the samething about the Sailor Moon gathering as well. We were done within the first half hour of the gathering, but with only two seasons of RWBY there wasn't too many crack couples or other kind of scenes we could play with yet. But this time I was the only Ruby with her scythe this time at the gathering unlike last con. But I still had a lot of fun and made friends and got to see my old friends at the gathering again.
Sunday I went to the Kuroshitsuji gathering and I had a lot of fun, I have to say I love Ciel's dress. Its so pretty and I want to do a photoshoot in it. The gathering was fun of course with all the friends I made and the fun scenes we got to do.
There was a guy there who had a car with a BRS decal on his car, I had gone as BRS on day zero. And he had come up to me and I got to meet him in person for the first time cause I follow him on instagram. Well while he was trying to talk to me about a photoshoot wit his car and letting me take a few pictures with his car cosplaying BRS. My friend decided to talk to me at the sametime about helping unload the car while I was trying to listen to him about taking the pictures. Which never got done since he was caught up at work and he had left early sunday. But we made a deal to do the shoot at the summer con and we could try the photoshoot again then.
I loved cosplaying BRS she honestly was one of my favorite ones this time along with Ciel's dress.
Now onto some bad news from the last day of last year. As most of you know who've read my journals, things at home weren't doing so well, my mom was in the hospital. emphasis on was, then she came home for the rest of December.
Well, my mom had been here for Christmas, it was something that I wanted more than anything else for Christmas was my mom to be there. And she was here, but, in that two weeks she was home, it only meant my story with my mom only got closer to ending. She was home with hospice, and if you don't know what that, I suggest reading up on that because even though I would explain it, it doesn't help the pain I feel now to think about those two weeks.
Well during her two weeks home my mom was okay for the first week, then she went downhill. The week of New years came and my mom was starting to lose her lucidity. And it literally breaks my heart to even be typing all of this out.
On her last day of lucidity, meaning when she could actually have a conversation that end up with her going to weird places. I was the last person to even talk to her fully, and right now I can still feel that hug and those last five words. I'll let you know what those five words were at the end.
As New Years Eve drew closer, my mom was gone mentally, she could no longer speak, she could no longer move, she couldn't do anything. She was an empty shell, and it's the hardest thing I've ever had to watch happen in front of me everyday for two weeks. Because when you see it happen to your mom, you realize how special she really is and you realize out of all your friends, even your best friends. Your mom, is, was and always will be your true best friend.
New Years Eve was a busy day, I was getting ready to pack for Sacanime and making sure I had everything. So later that same night I was looking up some paperwork and information online and submitting a contest entry.
But this wasn't a happy new year for me, because later that evening, about 5 hours before the ball dropped.
My mom passed away, I saw her draw her last breathe and it broke me to see it happen. I called the nurses who came to pronounce her dead, her body was picked up around 10 pacific time. But when I looked at my moms body I thought she was just joking with me and would wake up at any second. it felt so surreal like I was in a dream.
When they came to pick up my mom's body my family asked if I wanted a few moments alone with her. But I couldn't do it, I said no, it broke my heart and to know that she was cold scared me. I saw her color change and everything, I wasn't able to bring myself to touch even her hand. So I ended up watching her be taken away while trying not to cry.
I'll admit it, I miss my mom more than anything else in the world. If i could do or say anything to bring her back I would, but I can't. And every night I've slept in her bed and I cry every night alone and afraid, I don't like the silence in the house now. I just want my mom.
The thing she had said to me before losing her lucidity was something I will always cherish.
"I love you so much." and she gave me the last hug.
Even now, I cry everytime I hear those words replay in my head everday.
Made by: Wolfvids